This is a oil painting I did in 9th grade "lady in blue"

My picture of my first birthday one of the few pictures of me i like 

my 27th birthday my parents took me on a cruise there is dad mom and me blah 

Greed:	Very High
Gluttony:	Very High
Wrath:	Very High
Sloth:	Very High
Envy:	Very High
Lust:	Very High
Pride:	High

Take the Seven Deadly Sins Quiz

man i think i'm going to hell oh well besides that life sucks people (most few exceptions you kow who you are) suck also
i wish people would stop trying to make me feel better they don't understand this is who i am dammnit
K

what am I going to do

Well after a long talk with a friend of mine you know who you are i started feeling a bit better (thanks *hugs*) anyway it's just nice to know i'm not the only person who has these feelings at times. More later

Depression

Well in the last few days i've discovered that alot of my firends both on-line and irl, have been moving on with their lives and that is great and i am so happy for all of you. But I feel that my time is coming and going right before my eyes. I've travled i've done really insterting things but i feel sometimes that i want more i need more dammnit i deserve more. And I just can't seem to go get it, or do anythign about it at all.Every time i fall in love it's with the wrong person or wrong ype of person. I can't seem to find someone who not onlyi am attracted to both physically and mently. I want someone who can be honest not only with me but with them self. Thats alot to ask eh hell sometimes i wonder if i'm honest with my self at all. Any way starting to feel better today thank god can't take much more of the all night barf-a-thons. SO what else well i have to work on posting some pictures i guess today. Just a few here and there, not so many that people won't want to see em. hell no one really reads this thing any way so whats the point any way. I thinki need to get on some kind of happy drugs because life is really bad right now for me. All i think about is maybe going to bed and not waking up maybe life might be better that way. then i think about my family and how much i miss them and decide to keep on living.
What else hmmmmmm well i have a ton of old clothing in my closet i need to do something with i guss donate em if i can remember and gain the energy to bag em and drive em to goodwill blah i hate that place . well thats all for now anyone wanna comment dammnit
Kev

So whats new today

so i took a test off a friends blog the 7 levels of hell and where i might go


The Dante's Inferno Test has banished you to the Seventh Level of Hell!
Here is how you matched up against all the levels:

Level	Score
Purgatory (Repenting Believers)	Very Low
Level 1 - Limbo (Virtuous Non-Believers)	Very Low
Level 2 (Lustful)	Extreme
Level 3 (Gluttonous)	Very High
Level 4 (Prodigal and Avaricious)	Very High
Level 5 (Wrathful and Gloomy)	Extreme
Level 6 - The City of Dis (Heretics)	Extreme
Level 7 (Violent)	Extreme
Level 8- the Malebolge (Fraudulent, Malicious, Panderers)	Extreme
Level 9 - Cocytus (Treacherous)	Extreme

Take the Dante's Divine Comedy Inferno Test


though i did get a few high's down at the bottome ;-)

old friends and new ones

Someone once told me old friends are like old shoes they feel comortable and still fit for the most part. Any way i ran into a few old online friends of mine who i haven't seen in a few years you know who you are some were nice to talk to other eh? so what. But to the once i missed alot thank you for beingthe great people you are. I really need thisr right now in my life. I've been living back on long island for over 4 years now and i really have few friends who i actually care about enough to call friends. And to my friends who have recently gotten married i want to wish the two of you the best of luck in life and love and many happy years.
So whats new in my life well other than the other crap on this page not to much. sad isn't it, my last girlfriend and i broke up in a odd way though. She had to go to florida for a family thing with the parents and all that. When she got back she never called me and i knew she was back in town because she told me she was coming back on a certain date (duh). So i waited a few days and i called her nothign left a message. tried again the next day nothing left a message. now i'm starting to thinnk something happened to her and i'm getting concerned. So while i was walking from the resturant to the office down the block to dosome work i got on the cell phone and guess what she answered. (shock and aw here ). i said to her so whats going on everthing ok. She says yeah everything is fine actually . So i proceeed to ask well diden't you get my last few messages wondering what happened to you. And she says yeah i did and i just didne't have time to talk to you about this. Mind you i never even got into her pants we were only dating a few weeks at this point so i knew it was the i'm pregnant thing ( thank god ). She gives me i think we should just be friends line. You know the one you probally used it a few times yourself on someone or had it used on you. So i say well why do you feel like this. She tells me well you work to much and i need more commitment. So on that note of total discust in my life i say fine and hang up on her. Now she may be right i do work alot and with my kind of job it is something that is required i useally work 10-14 hour days 5 days a week. And here on long island i have to work that much to pay bills rent cell internet and so on. Things here aren't cheap hell gas is almost $3.00 all the time $4.50 when it gets high. So now i'm single and have to start over all over again. Oh one other thing in my defense i told this woman before we even started dating that i work this much and she said it was ok. And when i questioned her on that and said you know i did tell you i work alot and you said it was ok she said i know but i diden't think you were really serious. Women go figure.

Talkers

Well i've been a spod since 1994 i first started on foothills, then surfers after the foothills crash. When both foothills and surfers crashed i moved like alot of people over to resort and i have been there ever since. In 1996 i started a talker with a friend of mine named Bishop. we ran that talker so well we had about 40 regular spods there at all times we called it wilderness. In 1997 tref from flevel msb rael and myself started writing our own version of ew-too. we called the code tk but the test talker timewarp it still lives today in a slightly diffrent version at telnet://spod.org:1234. Then one day our DNS provider went out of bussiness asimov.flevel.co.uk. so now we had no code and no place to run one even it we wanted. Then a friend of mine oolon said to speak to hatter about a place on meep. And i did and we got a shell account on meep.org in 1997-1998 and we started over this time with a new talker code and name. I enlisted the help of two friends who were also admin on flevel. who lost their server also. Kjell and Rugg (SPOON< SPRANG). kjell being from norway and rugg from the uk. both two totally great friends and spods. they helped where they could with what they knew. Then meep had problems and i lost the shell account there thats when my friend jeff gave me a shell on his linuix box. I took it and around that time say 1999 cult slaine's talker was shutdown. slaine gave me the code one of the last coppies around ( no pfiles sorry) and i started working on the things that made it wibble and break offten at times. Once fixed i ran it for a total up time of 231 days without a crash or reboot. till i did a code up date so the grim reaper would stop killing newbies.
in 2001 i lost internet access and was gone from the net for almost 5 years with the exception of here and there when i was with friends and family with access. Today you can still find me on resort (telnet://resort.org:2323) and on a talker jaffa cake (telnet://spod.org:4040) more history to follow
K

Home Sick

So for the last 2 days i've been home from work bored out of my mind with this stomach virus i picked up somewhere. At least the puke factor has decreased thank god. And i think my toilet thanks it also. So now maybe today i can eat something other than bottled water. You know after 4 days off (2 of them my normal days) i actually miss work. Scary huh? thats all for now laters

New Monitor WooHoo

So today i went out and bought a new monitor for my computer http://www.viewsonic.com/products/desktopdisplays/lcddisplays/aseries/va912b/
very purty i love it can't wait to see what it can really do i'll keep you informed
Later

8:00 am Wednesday Morning

So this moring at 8am someone starts ringing my door bell mind you i don't have to get up till 9am to get ready for work but someoe is ringing my bell. So i get out of bed throw on my robe and go to the door and it's one of the guys who is working on the house asking me to move the car. Now they were not susposto be here till after 11am so i figured no problem with sleeping in today but no they want me to move my car so they can get into the back yard no problem right so i get dress half heartly and get into my car when i look behind me and see that these spanish guys have pilled tons of stuff there. So now i have to wait for them to move all this crap so i can back out. I just have to say this i don't know what people think somtimes but maybe waiting 15 minutes or not putting stuff there till after the car is moved might be a good idea. So now i'm getting ready to go to work today and i have to much shit to do today oh and i'm way to tired because the lady at starbucks last night gave me regular coffee insted of decaf Dame you starbucks lady. I was tired last night but coulden't get to bed because i had caffine.Any way i have to go get into the shower and get dressed for work more later

Whats new This week

Well this week i got a new cable modem installed in my apartment
so things are going well i'm planing to take a vacation in march to the virgin islands with my family for my dad's 65th birthday. And other than that all is well with me

First Entry

Well not to much to say here other than welcome to my blog
More to follow